On throwing out the first pitch

Creepy Jose decided to break the story about me throwing out the first pitch for a Seattle Seahawks game. To be perfectly honest with you, I hated it. All those yard lines, the wicket stand, the center back wearing a bunch of stuff, the helmets on the gridirons. All in all, it was pretty dumb.

Worst part was, Drew Carey came up from LA with me to do it. So I had a whole plane ride with him talking about how much bull shit health care reform is, and how he doesn't give a fuck because he has more money than John Lennon, etc. etc. And all I want is to sit and listen to the Wagner that's being softly played over the plane's sound system. A little bit of Tristan, hmm? No? You're going to talk to me the whole flight? You're going to stand with me in the elevators down to the field, too? And you're going to take pictures of me for your creepy collection as I throw out the first pitch? Fuck you Drew. You wouldn't know a Liebestod if it bit you in the ass.