And he's all like, Sigi, are you ready for the game on the weekend?
I'm like, Robert, what the hell happened last night against Saprissa? A goal in the last minute, and now you have to hoof the team down to Puerto Rico?
Yes, Robert says, it is true that this happened, but if I were you, I would only concern yourself with Saturday's game.
Oh, I say, why's that?
Because I would very much like to end your little expansion team. All these expansion teams, all these fans, not one of them can play the game well. It is time to make an example of someone. And I'm sorry to say, but that example will come against your USL-type team.
Come on Robert, I say, that's not exactly true.
Oh? he says, Perhaps you should read what they are saying about me after we destroyed the team that rejected you. They say I can't be killed. They say I drink blood. They say . . .
You dress as a bat?
No, they say my tactics are superior to yours and my substitution patterns are better. Who among us was able to get usable minutes out of Kevin Burns? Only me. Who among us has coached the same team to the best record in the league while having half the roster felled by injuries? Only me. Who among us has employed the tactics to achieve a roster of 23 unbeatable supermen, hard as steel, cold as ice, ruthless as a Russian prime minister? A team of players who are willing to, if I ask, die for each other on command?
The answer, as you know, is me.
Yeah, I say, well, I've got Kasey Keller, and he's a vampire so . . .
Ah, Robert says, the undead one. Trust me, we have ways of dealing with him.
And don't worry Sigi, it will be over by halftime. You will not have to wait long. Good luck. Ok? See you on Saturday.
*click*
Yeah, I'm not looking forward to this game.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Leave that scarf in your hotel room, Sigi.
Which one? You want me to piss on the Crew scarf in front of the Nordecke? I can do that. Mwa.
I have no hard feelings for Sigi at all. Like Evans said in the preview on the Seattle website, it was closer to home (somewhat), this and that and we would probably all do the same thing. I've had this match marked all year, and now I can't attend. It'd be awesome if Sigi could go over to the Nordecke and get high-fives and talk PRIOR to the match. I really don't want to see "treason" or "traitor" banners when I watch the replays.
..FYI Fake Sigi, loved the transcript of your call with Robert. Trying to imagine his voice saying all that and being all serious, that's good stuff right there.
Fake Sigi's only chance at victory is to distract Robert with delicious Pierogi. The only problem will be Fake Sigi having the control to not eat them all before he gets to the stadium.
Yeah, I'll probably just put something in his perogis when we go to the bar tonight.
Wow this blog is a goldmine!
And to think we ended Columbus's MLS unbeaten streak at home AND caused the trainwreck of the rest of their season, all at the hands of Real Sigi? Beautiful irony.
An extra special lol at Padula who spent the majority of both matches, home and away, looking at the linesman and holding his arm in the air, pleadingly. It's called "assistant coach"-- no cap hit.
Post a Comment