One of the things I was hoping to do this year was follow the English Premier League and, specifically, be a Fulham FC fan. And I have to admit that I failed pretty miserably. It wasn’t entirely my fault … a lot of stuff happened in the last few months and I simply did not find the time to invest in my new team.
What, doesn't every American "footie" fan like Fulham? You know, when they don't have other things to do? What? Fulham are a second rate team playing in a slightly upgraded version of Plough Lane bankrolled by a more insane version of Elton John? Lies! Ok, then what else have you got?
I am actually quite excited about watching today’s Champion’s League Final between Manchester United and FC Barcelona. I don’t have a dog in the fight — don’t even know much about the two teams other than the game will supposedly match the consensus best players in the world: Manchester United’s Cristiano Ronaldo and Barcelona’s Lionel Messi. Maybe we’ll throw some live comments on the bottom here during the match. Maybe.
Fuck you.
As for Peter King, well, check out his first professional soccer game in England, also last year.
The enthusiasm of the crowd, particularly the end-zone nutjobs, never wavered. . . I walked away wondering if there's anything in America like the constant hum of a 90-minute match with the kind of tradition football in Britain has. I'm not sure there is. Maybe a big college-football rivalry or a Red Sox-Yankees playoff game, or Canadiens-Leafs when both are hot. I don't know. I doubt it.
I don't know fuckhead, maybe ANY Seattle Sounders game? Or any good MLS or WPS playoff match? Or the National Teams? Ok, fine you sort of have us at the tradition, but seriously. IS THERE ANYTHING IN AMERICA LIKE THIS NO NOT AT ALL FUCK FACE SOCCER DOESN'T EXIST HERE GO BACK TO WRITING ABOUT YOUR POINTY BALL I HATE YOU.
Anyway. I'm looking forward to those scintillating match reports that talk about the "end zone crazies" and compare certified International Soccer Sensations to American League baseball managers or college football to make sure that people who know nothing at all about soccer don't feel alone, afraid, and vaguely homosexual.
Maybe SI'll even archive those great stories on a page where the first two clicks you make anywhere take you to a full page ad for Ralph Lauren or something else I'm supposed to buy. Seriously, SI, you're the reason I'm thinking about disabling Javascript. Your website is a usability nightmare and treats its readers like an abusive spouse would, it's not funny anymore.
-FS
17 comments:
With much respect to the Fake One, you are perhaps a bit unfair to Mr. Posnanski. I think he is one of the most well spoken and thoughtful writers in sports. He rarely resorts to invective or jumps to conclusions. He is brilliant storyteller with an excellent eye for a story. I am extremely interested to see what he comes up with while he is in South Africa. I wish that soccer had more writers like him.
As far a King, I couldn't care less.
Full disclosure, Joe Posnanski is one of the three writers I respect most, with Steve Sirk and Josh Wilker. I check the "Joe Blog" daily.
Did you really just compare the atmosphere at an English football ground to a WPS game?
I don't deny that Posnanski is a good writer, and I totally respect your choices on your list. As for me, I stopped following Posnanski's blog after a couple weeks. I found it long winded, and largely irrelevant to my interests. Whatever writing skill was there wasn't enough to keep me engaged. I'm aware I'm an outlier in that regard.
I've also read Fever Pitch dozens of times in three languages, so it's not like I've got a lot of room to talk in some circles.
But beyond that, I'd rather one of the premier sports magazines in the country (some would argue *the*) be able to send writers to the World Cup that display some sort of knowledge of soccer beyond what Posnanski displays. I don't think there's any shame in wanting that.
As writers, we can all write outside our central area, and do it effectively. So I'm sure he could go to the world cup and pound out some kind diatribe that I probably wouldn't be able to. But there's a good chance it will turn out like "Up Pompey II: The Upenning", and is that really what we want our world cup coverage to be like? Which reminds me, Chuck Culpepper would probably be a better choice at this point.
Lots of American soccer fans have had their "come hither" moment with the sport. But I think its ok to expect that the writers at our big national publications don't have that moment as they're about to embark on covering soccer's biggest event, no matter how good a writer they are.
-FS
Well, it was a Citeh match.
-FS
Here I go defending SI. It's not as if that SI is only sending Pos and King. Guillem Balagué, Gabriele Marcotti, Mark Mravic, Mark Bechtel, and Grant Wahl are all going for the SI team as well. Only King and Pos are coming for the outsiders perspective. We might get "Up Pompey II: The Upenning" (perhaps the title of my mythical first book), but it will be a small part of the coverage.
There are a lot of people in the U.S. that are interested in soccer, but not soccer fans. We can do far worse than Posnanski. I think it is a good balance on the whole, Pos and King for prospective fans and a murders row of reporters for the soccer fans.
Our judges will accept Balague and Marcotti as evidence of SI trolling international waters to find good writers. Both of them will undoubtedly be doing work for other publications/media outlets as well.
BTW, have you ever been to Balague's website? Flash everywhere. WTF.
Anyway, I can see your point. I still withhold my right to be annoyed and unreasonable.
-FS
FS-
I think the commentators were referring to KC Wizards games at Arrowhead stadium or a regular season Columbus Crew match. Their point about atmosphere is well taken.
I also think the direct comparison for me between the states and EPL games is college basketball. Well, at least college basketball of the last 20 years before the coming end of college basketball due to globalization/capitalism.
I grew up at Allen Fieldhouse, and the Sounders' fans put on a great show, but cynics would like to see that at the Red Bulls Park
Elliot,
But to pretend that's all top tier soccer is in the USA is likewise inaccurate. Or even college soccer.
Although New York's new arena will be a used car lot in 5 years. You can bank on it.
-FS
Patrick,
I am honored that you would lump me in with fellow Clevelander Joe Posnanski-- who is a better writer, by several orders of magnitude, than I will ever be—but please note that you have linked to the web site of someone who shares my name...and nothing else.
Sirk
PS- Fake Sigi, I totally disagree. Poz going to the World Cup is tremendous news. I don’t see how sending an award-winning columnist and best-selling author to cover the World Cup can be construed as a bad thing in any way, especially when the person in question is extremely open-minded and is a magnificent story teller with a lot of crossover appeal. You need guys like that in addition to the soccer-intensive journalists, and Poz is about as good as it gets.
FS - It may not be five full time writers, but I do like that they decided to bring in some ringers.
I can also see how King or Pos can completely miss the point for one of the major stories for the print edition. I will be in line behind you if Pos or King cannibalize Wahl's space in the dead tree edition for another outsiders look at the "crazy madness of the World Cup"
I am with you on Flash. I can go on for a while, but I will stop with a shared WTF.
Sirk - Apologies, the website link is in jest (or to throw people off of your trail). Perhaps I should have made that much more clear.
It may be something in the Cleveland water (I don't think I care to test it to find out), but they make some fine writers up there.
Marcotti has been writing for SI for fourteen years, so that's some pretty longstanding trolling there.
I'm not exactly sure the Sounders and Toronto atmospheres can be sold as typical of US/North American soccer either.
Perhaps I'm just traumatized by years of surviving the "morticians library effect" at Arrowhead, but I did stay away from using categorical language such as "all/none" and "always/never."
But just to clear my throat, Red Bulls Park will ALWAYS BE THE GREATEST VACANT PARKING LOT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD.
I don't want to ruffle feathers here but I am sick and tired of the whole "I don't know much about soccer, let's write about it completely irreverently to entertain those not in the know" thing. Come on SI, don't treat soccer fans like babies, or non-soccer fans for that matter. I'm with Sigi on his post here, fuck this.
Much respect to those in this thread. Am thrilled to see Sirk stop by - although perhaps that had more to do with the web site that says "Click "cool" to see more pictures of us" than anything I wrote.
-I don’t see how sending an award-winning columnist and best-selling author to cover the World Cup can be construed as a bad thing in any way, especially when the person in question is extremely open-minded and is a magnificent story teller with a lot of crossover appeal.
Since I'm on a big Steve Davis kick tonight, I think I'll borrow one of his quotes from another context:
"The real problem with all these wayward queries is the implication that soccer requires some kind of validation from the cool kids table."
-FS
Elliot -
-Perhaps I'm just traumatized by years of surviving the "morticians library effect" at Arrowhead, but I did stay away from using categorical language such as "all/none" and "always/never."
Yes, you did, and I'm just arguing that King's year old blog entry was a little selective in its memory. I'm not trying to go all Blingee on MLS. Man do I love those Dallas crowds when they're cooking. Likewise Denver. But there's also plenty of passion in the stands at soccer games everywhere here.
And watch how you wield that North American soccer thing.
-FS
Tom,
Yeah, he's been a freelance stringer for 14 years. Keep your writers broke, desperate and dependent, that's what SI always says.
Honestly, the weakest point of my argument is that SI is "sending" these Euro guys who actually know what they're talking about. Which is great, because outside of the Narwhal, there's not a really a lot of in-house talent that's really familiar with the game. And that is a problem.
Back in 1993 or 1994, SI had a great article on the Prem. Can't remember who wrote it, it's around here somewhere. Really painted a picture, made a compelling case for the league from an American perspective. And there's been some decent stuff on the USNTs. So if anything SI has what I would argue is a better track record than most.
Again, I reserve my right to be annoyed and unreasonable about Posnanski and King drinking Roodeberg and dodging muggers.
-FS
Fake Sigi:
It was a little bit about correcting Pat's link to my, uh, interesting left coast namesake, and a little bit about sticking up for Posnanaksi.
Being blessed by the cool kids has nothing to do with it for me. It's just nearly impossible for me to quibble with sending a great writer to cover a great event.
Post a Comment