Fake Sigi to go on strike

Dear Readers,

I regret to inform you that for the past 3 years, this blog has been written under the most deplorable of circumstances. Due to the nature of the blog, I have been unable to enjoy rights that you, the reader, take for granted. Here are some of the main issues:

1) Fake Sigi Enterprises is run like a cartel
2) Fake Sigi does not have freedom of movement
3) Fake Sigi's contract has been routinely terminated and is not guaranteed, but I am unable to write for another blog.

There are quality of life issues as well, such as the cost I must bear to obtain and operate a laptop, strain and bleeding of my eyes when I read the work of other bloggers, a very low per diem, and occasionally paying for cable soccer channels and packages so that I may watch soccer players of varying quality.

For the last 9 months, I have been in negotiation with Fake Sigi management, and have made every effort to work through these issues. It seems to me that the Fake Sigi Enterprises owners are asking me to be grateful for the opportunity I have to write about billionaires and the merely affluent argue over who gets how much of the fans' and advertisers' money.

At this point, I feel though that I must stand up for my rights. I have seen very little movement so far from the owners of FSI, and I would describe their offer at this point to be "token" or "minimal". While I will not articulate my exact demands to you, the reader, what I will say is that I just want the same right as you have to work at Burger King or Walmart. That's where you work, isn't it? And then you fantasize about working at another Burger King or Walmart, don't you? See, you can do that, but right now, I can't. Right now, I'm chained to the good ship Sigmund Fitzgerald and must bloody my fingers banging out the daily dreck that tickles the Google Analytics javascripts.

So it's time to take a stand. Unless there is real movement from the owners of Fake Sigi Industries, I will strike next week. I have already contact the MLS Players Union, and they have agreed to stage a sympathy strike to draw attention to my plight. The MLS Players have vowed not to return to work unless all my outstanding issues are resolved with the Fake Sigi Management.

Let me again say, dear reader, that I understand how hard it is for you who must work at Walmart instead of writing a blog, but you must understand that I only want what you have. I just want freedom. Like the bird who is caged, although I see the cat sitting just outside the door, I yearn to stretch my wings and fly. Soar like the Eagles I see blogging in Europe, and South America.

I love the readers, I really do. But this is something that must be done.

All right, tightwad, fuckhead management, pony up that fucking cash or this web site goes dark on Tuesday.

Fuck you very much,

Fake Sigi