First day of Sounders FC preseason camp - and I'll bet you're all wondering about Ljungberg
2010-01-25 08:37:00
Can you believe we're already back at it? For a 30 game season, two months off seems like entirely too short a break. But, whatever, they want us to do the preseason thing for two full months before we play a real game, that's fine with me. Gives Tyson Wahl something to do besides stare at the wall. Ha. Too soon?And by the way, this is the second straight year we open against an expansion team at home. Erm, or opened as one. Or New York played like one. Or something. Anyway, more easy scheduling from the MLS main office. We bring the fans, you give us ultimate victory. That's how it works. Actually, I'm kind of getting used to being the biggest deal MLS has ever seen.
So practice today. It was fine. Fine. Why do you ask? Did we significantly improve or something over the offseason? So we've got some draftees in camp, and a couple bizarro players. Dude from the Israeli league. A keeper who was just in Belgium who can step in when I kill Helen Keller back there.
But yeah. You guys really think Mike Seamon is an upgrade over Freddie Ljungberg? Who wasn't there today? Who's off snowboarding in Sweden and making doe eyes at absolutely anybody in Europe who will entertain the notion of signing his old-ass self away from us?
To be totally honest, I've been in contact with Freddie. I know he wants the fuck out, and I'm sort of cool with that, except Montero wants out too, and while time's running short on the transfer window, you never know. So I'm like, Freddie, do what you've got to do. And he's like Sigi, will we be better next year? And I said, yeah, of course. MLS is a total joke, really, the way you get better is just by hanging out together and practicing more. Ljungberg's like, really? I'm like, yeah, look at the Crew. So this year we'll win the Cup, since we've practiced a lot more.
Which is total BS, but I say it to him anyway. Like I said, I don't care that he's not here, because I didn't want to be here either. I wanted to fire up the animatronic Sigi-bot, but no, I had to be there to answer questions from moron reporters. So officially we're fining him. But unofficially, I could give a fuck, and he knows that. Otherwise, he'd be here.
Come on - he missed all last preseason, think that was an accident? It's just a little more inconvenient this year now that he's not a perpetual cripple. And he now realizes he wants out of this cruel, cold MLS prison. So, whatever. Good luck getting signed Freddie, I've got a spot in midfield saved for when you get back. Of course Helen Keller won't shut the fuck up about it:
"I don't know the full story. I'm a player, I'm not in management," said Keller. "I think when you're under contract, you're supposed to be for the team that holds your contract. And if something gets worked out, it has to be worked out with the club that holds your contract. You don't as a player get your choice to say what you're going to do and how you're going to do it.
Another year of this. I don't know how Arena did it. No, you don't know the full story, so perhaps you should end your diatribes to the confused media a few sentences sooner.
As for Montero, I love this quote from Creepy Jose:
My thought on Montero - He asked me about the CONCACAF Champions League after being interviewed, and I got the sense that such a big time tournament and the chance to play in it is impressive to him and that it could be a factor in him staying in Seattle.
SUCH A BIG TOURNATMENT oh my God we get to play in Puerto Rico! Or maybe Vancouver! Or Toronto! The excitement. Seriously, fuck this. Our roster's barely deep enough to slog through MLS and a severely weakened US Open Cup field, you're telling me we'll be getting our asses handed to us in Central America when we're making our playoff push? Mark my words, this could get ugly. I'm going to love the look on Montero's face when we get off the plane in Panama.
So, no predictions yet, just your daily dose of doom, gloom, and good fucking lord do these players need to get in shape. Check out the Sounders web site if you want some footage of just how soft we are.
Much love Sounders fans. Another year of glory. I eagerly await your praise.
Fake Sigi out.
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